Gaming Tips

Gaming tips from Chateau Heartiste:

– Yard sales and consignment shops are lucrative venues for picking up girls. Good ratio + young babes + opener props = win.

– When a hot chick makes a funny, don’t laugh too hard. In fact, don’t laugh at all. Just smile. LOLing is approval seeking.

– Be wary of conversational entrapment. The longer you talk about a woman’s concerns, the more likely she’ll friendzone you.

– Approaching in coffee shops is tough, b/c it’s so obvious. Try making a face at the girl first. Chicks love silliness.

– Make fun of chickscript. “O-M-G, that’s so totes true!!!” Girls love flirty teasing with an edge. Shows fearlessness.

– If you text a girl you met the night before and she asks who you are, text back “Kanye West”. Keeps the pickup ball rolling.

– Misinterpret a girl’s actions as coming on to you. Girl says hi, you reply: “Whoa, save the pillow talk for later, speedy gonzales.”

– Smile at women you pass on the street. Many more than you think will smile back. Lead with a smile, as you lead in life.

– When you have a woman at the foot of your bed, simultaneously grab her hair and palm her pussy while kissing her neck. Magic.

– If you distrust your girlfriend, don’t let it show. Feigned naivete is a powerful weapon against devious playettes. Think long-term strategy.

– Drop something. Dramatically pick it up. While bending, look over your shoulder at the girl, and ask “Getting an eyeful?” Assume the sale.

– Don’t get too excited by a girl’s physical escalation. She’ll value your ensuing interest less. Steer the seduction.

– If a girl mentions another man, hold up your hand & say “You hear that?” “What?” “The sound of this conversation dying.”

– Never tolerate a girl showing up later than you to a date. Visit another bar then return in ten minutes. She still not there? Leave. Alternate option: Talk to other girls who may be at the bar. When she arrives, she’ll experience preselection overload.

– When you meet for a date, don’t hug the girl. She’s expecting it then. Be bold and unpredictable. Touch her on your terms. Leave the beta males to eagerly lap up asexual hugs.

– After sex, or before if you like risk, tell girl “I’m not interested in a relationship with anyone.” Money-saving MOAB game.

– Emulate this guy. (Not the poker player.)

– Art museums are great first date venues to demonstrate not just knowledge, but wry humor as well. “Did he paint nipples?”

– If a date is going well, you’ll be tempted to stop challenging a woman. Don’t. Save your full acceptance until after sex.

– Got an arm cast? Have a niece or a few women sign it. Not an option? Fake it. Draw flowers and hearts. Cast game is nuclear.

– Pace a girl’s unspoken objections. “This is really crazy meeting a stranger on the street.” Pacing disarms and re-norms.

– “That’s just something a girl says when she can’t handle her feelings for a man” is a good, all-purpose reply to a shit test.

– If you go out a lot, you will have make-outs. Fresh breath extends sessions. Tip: chew mint leaves on your way out the door.

– If you kiss a girl and she reacts with confusion or pulls away, wait a beat and sexily say “hot”. Instant mood lifter.

– Science can segue to sexytime. “I read that people relate based on smell compatibility.” *sniff* “Your love smell is strong.”

– “I know how this ends. You’ll fall in love. Hard. Dream of rings and white weddings. I’ll run.” – said to a girl on 2nd date. Try it with a straight face. It’s chicknip.

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