When Aloofness Attracts

Robert Greene’s tweet:

Stay aloof and people will come to you. It will become a challenge for them to win your affections.

This stands true in multiple contexts. One who is acquainted with pickup artistry and game knows that being aloof – along with other alpha male traits – attracts women.

I want to expound on it in general context. Let’s imagine an office and apply that context to what he says.

Think of introverts. They like to stay aloof. But no one cares about winning affections of an introvert. No one cares whether they exist, even. Most introverts are perceived as weirdos by normal people.

So there is a difference between smart and popular and aloof, and weirdo aloof. What he says will not work if you are the latter.

If you are smart, witty, good looking, sharp-dressing, are popular, and along with all that you keep aloof, people will be intrigued. The more of the positive qualities you possess, the more the intrigue you will arouse by aloofness.

I believe this happens because people are used to seeing bright individuals surround themselves with flatterers and admirers. So when they see a bright person who stays aloof, it arouses a special kind of interest. It makes the bright person appear more valuable than he would had he been mingling freely with others.

If you are bright and aloof, people would start thinking that you have a high standard and will be tempted to see getting close to you as a challenge. If they can get into your circle, they would think, that must mean they are special. Everyone likes to feel special. Hence the attraction.

By the way, Robert Greene is author of the book 48 Laws of Power which at the first look through it might seem like a book written by psychopath. With maturity and experience of the world, however, one would see the book to be full of brilliant advice for winning the games of power.


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