In this post we will examine –
- Why men objectify women
- How women encourage their own objectification, and why
- How women objectify men, and why
- The harm from women objectifying men
Sexually objectifying women means viewing them like sex objects. Men objectify women thus, meaning they think about sex whenever they see a woman, especially a beautiful one. Why do men sexually objectify women while the reverse is not true as much? Let’s turn to biology.
Why men objectify women
Men are sexually attracted almost exclusively by women’s looks. As against that, attraction in women is relatively complex. Men’s looks certainly play a role, but the bigger role is of their status (which is ascertained by women as combination of alpha qualities like confidence, strength, wealth, charisma,..).
Man’s biological imperative is to reproduce with many beautiful women, as beauty is a sign of good health. As against that, woman’s biological imperative is to have sex with a high status man who would have strength, confidence and resources to protect and provide for them and their offspring. Study of evolution would help one understand how this would be a sensible evolutionary strategy for growth of the species. In the evolutionary past, therefore, a woman’s value to man consisted in her looks, whereas man’s value consisted in his strength, confidence and resources (all combined as status). Biologically, this is true even today.
From sexual attraction perspective, for a man, a woman is nothing if not beautiful. For a woman, a man is nothing if not having status. Ugly women and low status beta males may be productive for the society, but biology of the opposite sex rejects them as mating partners.
There is no changing how men and women view each other because those very instincts have served the species well for as long as we have existed. If men hadn’t been attracted to and having sex with beautiful (read healthy) women, and if women hadn’t been mating with strong, confident and resourceful alpha males, the species would have not evolved thus far.
Life in nature is fundamentally about reproduction, i.e. sex. Society, its norms, and everything else is just offshoots of men and women pursuing their biological goals of survival and reproduction through their respective biological imperatives. For the growth of the species, men are designed by evolution to have sex with many beautiful women. To that end, it is necessary for nature to hardwire men to view women as creatures they primarily want to relate to for reproduction. Everything else they do to women would be basically to get sex in return. Men objectifying women’s beauty, thus, is naturally hardwired behavior. And for a good reason.
Many of the natural instincts are deemed misplaced in the present state of civilization. But that does not mean those instincts can be eliminated by moralizing. Moral development is a tug-of-war with nature, and it has its limits. This is not to mean that objectification of human beings is good, but one must look deeper and find alternative ways to minimize the harm resulting from such objectification than demanding the impossible behavioral change of either gender.
How women encourage their own objectification, and why
Let us ask, what are women doing to minimize the harm resulting out of their objectification?
Women are well aware of the sexual attraction mechanism. They know what men find attractive in them, and they use their sexuality to the fullest extent to their advantage. Find a modern urban woman who wears clothes that are less revealing, or less tight, than typical men’s clothes. You can’t. Think about this: Men are at no risk of sexual assault, so technically they can afford even to walk around in their underwear if they wished, but instead we see that women are the ones who reveal considerably more skin than men. Revealing the underwear is also becoming the norm in modern women’s clothing. Even in formal settings women’s dress code allows showing more skin than we see in men. On one hand they blame men for objectifying women, and on the other hand they continue to do everything to appeal to the same base nature of men where the objectification originates!
Modern women are hypocritical. The blame on men can only be justified in a society where women don’t flaunt their bodies to reap the benefits of sex appeal. Looking at the kind of money women spend on beauty products, hairdos, clothes,.. in trying to look like supermodels, one wonders if they are not objectifying themselves.
So why do women encourage men, so to speak, to objectify them? The answer to this lies in women’s biological imperative.
As we noted above, it is men’s biological imperative to have sex with beautiful women. Women, at some level, know this. And they want to be that beautiful woman men want to have sex with! Of course, they won’t have sex with all men who approached them but only the high status alpha males.
If a woman stops “objectifying” herself by painstakingly trying to look beautiful, she would lose the edge and miss the opportunity in her way, and fail her biological imperative which is to reproduce with a high status man.
This explains why women can’t help pouring money and constant efforts at looking beautiful. No woman wants to lose a potential high status man to another woman more beautiful than herself.
How women objectify men, and why
Since men’s looks also play a role in women’s attraction, they too sexually objectify men. However, women sexually objectifying men is not the parallel of men sexually objectifying women. The parallel of the latter is women objectifying men for their status.
Just like men want to have sex with beautiful women, women want to settle down with a high status man.
A man would readily have sex with a beautiful homeless woman, but a woman would not give her sexual resources to a homeless man, however handsome he may be. Conversely, a woman would have sex with a high status man even if the man is not handsome.
In this article on elitedaily.com, the woman author explains why it is completely okay to (sexually) objectify men:
Well, I hate to silence straight white males again (I know you guys have been getting a lot of flak from me for merely existing lately), but until you live in a world in which your objectification leads to excessive victim-blaming, unwelcome catcalling, mortifyingly high rates of sexual assault and rape and having your value in society based exclusively on what you look like, I will continue to exercise my God-given right to objectify you.
Because the objectification of women leads to all of those things. The objectification of men does not. And that’s why it’s okay to do it.
Basically, she says that women objectifying men doesn’t result in harmful consequences as does men objectifying women. While I agree with her that men objectifying women (albeit, with great help from women!) leads to harmful consequences, she has completely missed the mark on how women objectify men.
Once we have understood the differences in male and female biological imperatives, it is not hard to see that the parallel of men sexually objectifying women is not the reverse of it. The parallel is women objectifying men for their status. That is how men are truly being objectified by women.
When a man says he wants to marry a fair and beautiful woman, he is objectifying women. When a woman says she wants to marry a rich man, she is objectifying men.
The harm from women objectifying men
Just like men objectifying women results in harm, as the author of the above linked article points out, so does women objectifying men. This harm is manifested in the increasing trend of women marrying wealthy men, then divorcing them to take huge pie of the man’s property in alimony. Various anti-domestic violence and anti-dowry laws are notorious for being misused by modern women to extract huge sums from the counterpart through divorce. More than 70% of divorces are now initiated by women. This is because women are incentivised to divorce their husbands by the provision of settlement, alimony, and lifetime maintenance payments.
One might argue that more women initiating divorce might just mean that more men are bad partners. However, the facts and data presented here demolishes that argument:
But constitutional white knights — you know who you are — claim that figure could just as easily mean that 70% of husbands are shitty spouses. Well, maybe. But that interpretation is no less speculative than the opposite, and in fact is less sustainable under scrutiny, because the simpler explanation for the 70% female divorce-initiation figure is that men and women are about equally represented among the crappy spouse demographic, but women initiate more divorces because they perceive that a host of benefits will accrue to them from severing their marriages. Husbands, in contrast, perceive no such benefits, and are thus more loathe to divorce even when their wives are insufferable.
One way to test this hypothesis, as The Anti-Gnostic implied above, is to look at which sex initiates more non-marital break-ups. If men really are crappier partners than women, then the break-up initiation rate will be roughly the same inside and outside of marriage. The break-up initiation rate should skew approximately 70% in favor of women in whatever form of relationship they’re in. The premise behind this assumption is that a person’s romantic character or “livability” traits are fairly constant throughout life.
Using the variable FAMPER3 (“During the last year, did you… 3. Break up with a steady boyfriend/girlfriend or fiance?”) from the General Social Survey (GSS) dataset, we find that men broke up their non-marital relationships almost twice as often as did women.
Women do objectify men. And women’s objectification of men also has harmful effects on the society and man-woman relationships.