Game is an Art of Relationships

Below is an excerpt from the comment I received on my post titled: How women are asking to be viewed as sex objects.

This article sounds very much like a lot of pick-up artists books and articles I’ve read some years ago.

I’ve also tried to put them in practice. After I have tried these kind of strategies with mixed results, I realized that casual encounters do not give a man much emotional fulfillment. They can only satisfy the ego and the sexual needs, but only for a short while. Plus, some of the girls will get emotionally attached and will inevitably get hurt because of unreciprocated affection from my part. I felt guilty for hurting them like that. And all of that for what purpose? Just for a frustrated guy to demonstrate himself that he could game the system and trick the women into having sex with him? Trust me, it’s not worth it. All these strategies worth nothing unless I use them to become a better person and make the people around me (including the girls I meet) happier.

Also, this whole idea of the alpha vs beta male is misleading. There is no such thing as a full alpha or full beta guy. They are just a bunch of personality traits. Most guys have a mix of those traits in different proportions and depending on the circumstances. So it’s not all black and white, it’s just different shades of grey. An emotionally mature man knows that it is ok to display beta characteristics. Most of us have more beta characteristics, anyway. A man that acts alpha all the time is just emotionally immature or has a mental illness.

While I don’t disagree with all of it, there seems to be major misunderstanding about the purpose of game. This post is to address that misunderstanding while also serving as a response to the comment. Before you read further I would suggest you read the said article linked above for making better sense of what I am saying here.

In that article I am not talking about treating women like sex objects but viewing them like it. I have clearly stated that it is a psychological modulation (tricking one’s mind, if you will) required to pull off the behavior that pleases women’s sexual nature. In a way, I think, it is respecting women rather than disrespecting them. Respect them in a human way, by being dutiful and caring with heart and soul, and they will love you as a friend or a decent human being but not more than that.

I know that there is a continuum between alpha and beta, and most men are somewhere between the two points (albeit towards the beta extreme). Also, displaying high alphaness is more important at the initial stage of seduction/courting and as the relationship matures a man can be a bit beta to make the woman feel respected more in a human way. However, one must always be wary of slippery slope there.

Remember that although we are humans, we are sexual beings, and sexuality has to do with animal nature. Moreover, sex is so fundamental a need that unless the animal in us is respected/satisfied (in context of sexuality) the human in us won’t be fully capable of love. Have we seen a woman who just separated from her man saying that she didn’t feel the same “chemistry” despite the man being very nice and kind? I would say it is because of. Have we seen a woman who has a male friend she can always count on for help and emotional support but he is “just a friend”? So there. These men are not respecting women’s animal nature, so women aren’t sexually aroused by them. Their human nature (rational nature) may find these men lovable in platonic way, but what trumps in the end?

A man’s animal nature is relatively easy to satisfy since both human and animal natures of men are respected/satisfied by a good-looking, dutiful and devoted woman. Women, on the other hand, are complex. A dutiful and devoted man would satisfy a woman’s human nature but that won’t help his cause if he can’t satisfy her animal nature which requires completely different (quite often the opposite) treatment. Therefore, a man has to always be conscious of not losing the right balance of alpha- and betaness while in relationship with a woman. Most men can’t pull it off because once they are into the woman, they can’t help falling to the beta extreme of the continuum. Cultural conditioning of men also has a lot to do with making betas of them. Hence, game.

Chateau Heartiste has referred to game as “learned charisma”, or “applied charisma”. CH gives a short definition of game as: The practice of challenging women.

Why do women want a challenging man? Women are unique in this way. Men have no desire for challenging women. Men love nothing more than sweet women who make their lives easier and don’t play head games. Women, in stark contrast, need challenging men (especially in the early going of a courtship) because their particular psychologies emerge from a biological substrate that is designed to function on cues supplied by non-physical and thus less conspicuous male traits, such as men’s social status and attractiveness to other women.

Being a challenge has the same effect on women as a slender hourglass figure and pretty face have on men: Urgent stimulation.

The art of right balance of alpha- and betaness is what game is about. Game is to understand what women actually want from men and how they want men to be. Something that they themselves can not fully articulate because their yearnings of animal nature are transmitted through instincts, not rational thought.

The infamous notion that game is all about seducing women for pump-and-dump is inaccurate, if not totally wrong. It is much more than that. Game is an art of creating satisfying relationships. The art which is much needed in men in the world without traditional values that stood as pillars for relationships in the times gone by.

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